Week 44: Sometimes the harder I try

I’d spent a few days labouring over this week’s song, and eventually after many frustrating hours realised I was flogging a dead horse. I finished it anyway, but hated it. Once it was done I was just relaxing and idly picking my guitar when a whole new song magically appeared, more or less about the frustrating process of trying so hard and getting nothing, and then getting what I want when I stop trying. A song about it’s own creation. Hope you like it.


44 Sometimes the harder I try
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Lyrics:

Sometimes the harder I try
The more I get lost in the failure to fly
And sometimes when I breeze along
without really trying I write my best song

There’s an old man inside me a wise man who knows when to fall,
when to fly, when my mean machinations are sucking me dry.
There’s an idiot too who gets lost and gets blue.
In the end, I believe they’ll see eye to eye and be friends.

Sometimes the sign on my door
Says don’t even bother I’ve been there before.
But sometimes I let it all in,
Taking my chances on songs that nobody will sing.

There’s an old man inside me a wise man who knows when to fall,
when to fly, when my mean machinations are sucking me dry.
There’s an idiot too who gets lost and gets blue.
In the end, I believe they’ll see eye to eye and be friends.

Week 43: Aloneness

A song about embracing aloneness. Learning to go in and find what’s inside as a solution to loneliness, rather than looking for someone else to fill in that space.


43 Aloneness
Lyrics

Slow down and take a moment to behold the potency in your aloneness
Watch now, your basic reflex as you try to deflect the pain in your soul
See how every distraction just leaves you a little more homeless
Feel now the joy in falling as you give up the fight and you lose control

The pressure we feel to join a club of two in bed or three in a pub
Or ten in a team, a flock in a church, nobody wants to be left in the lurch
But something in this frightens me, that in this need we’re never free
To think or speak our truest thoughts for fear of losing our support

Slow down and take a moment to behold the potency in your aloneness
You sigh, you feel so sorry cause you’ve got nobody to have and to hold
But watch out your need for loving might make you a little backboneless
Keep an eye on how you shape yourself to fit in somebody’s mold

Falling in love, it’s such a rush, it’s like a drug, you can’t get enough
Losing yourself for days or years, thinking you’ve found the cure for fear
But then one day the thrill is gone and once again you feel alone
Forced to face the fragile self you tried to lose in somebody else

Slow down and take a moment to behold the potency in your aloneness
Deep in the caves of silence hear that small voice soft and clear
Give love to the one you find there, long left lonely crying and hopeless
See those dark eyes brighten, rushing up to the world for air

Fly me high and fly me low, there’s so much to see, flying all alone
Lost in worlds inside of me, a million ways to be, out there on my own

Week 42: Like little fleas

Don’t ask me what all this means – one of those songs where I just allowed stuff to bubble to the surface and whenever something good popped up I’d add it to the lyrics. It’s an elusive thing – sometimes it seems so easy, but other times I can’t seem to access that mode of writing and it can become very frustrating. I guess it’s about learning to trust my unconscious and understanding that what seems like nonsense is sometimes really rich with meaning, even though it might take a psychoanalyst to work out what that meaning is.


42 Like little fleas
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For a playlist of all the songs so far, click here.

Lyrics:
I sold my meanest face and all the wasted time for bags of nothing
I love the way you fold your grace and lay the roast deep in the oven
And don’t be such a ghost who coasts alone and lost from all my loving
It only takes a wish or two at most to push you back to buzzing

Each day I wake amazed at what my mind has raised in lazy dreaming
It casts a frazzled light across the day and colours it with feeling
I didn’t mean to fall away from all your silver starlight streaming
But it only takes a wish or two at most to push me back to beaming

Chorus:
Like little fleas we ride on the back of a dog
And the dog’s chasing a bird who’s chasing the sun
And the sun is sinking down down down
Even the one who rules the world
Is only a speck on a tiny rock
Near a tiny star on the edge of a galaxy
that’s one of billions and billions

And far along the road where love has gone you’ll see a thin man plodding
And where his horses felt they had enough and fell you’ll find him flogging
The thinnest wedge of fear can take you far from here and leave you longing
But it only takes a wish or two at most to push you back towards belonging

Chorus

It doesn’t matter how you feel about what you’ve done right
Or wrong or what you said to whom and when
Cause at the end of every day the sun still goes down down down

Week 41: Time to bring the watermelons in

I spend way too much time living in the future, as if it’s going to be somehow better. The thing is, it’s usually more or less the same as the present. And because I’m always waiting for better days, I’m seldom fully in the present, meaning I’m missing out on my life. So, this song is all about grabbing hold of the present and making the most of it.


41 Time to bring the watermelons in
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For a playlist of all the songs so far, click here.

Lyrics:
All I ever do is think about what’s to come
And how it’s gonna be when my work is done
And all the joy I’m gonna feel when obstacles are overcome

No matter where or when or who I’m with
I’m always waiting for a bigger fish
And all my hopes are mixed up in this myth that the best is yet to come

Chorus:
This is the time, this is the place
Let the juice run down your face
It’s time to bring the watermelons in
All your wealth don’t leave it on the shelf
Help yourself to all that the moment brings

How long you gonna sit around and wait
For bigger fish to bite upon your bait,
For some sweet magical idea to wake you up to really being here?

Happiness is just over the hill
But over that one there’s another still
And even when you’ve reached the peak I bet that you will still find more to seek

Chorus

The urge to run from what’s inside of me
Keeps me trapped inside the yet to be
And like a stone I skip along the surface of the ocean that is me

Slowly I am learning how to sink
Beneath the layers of the thoughts I think
Into the world of what I feel where there’s a chance to make the moment real

Chorus