Every time I write a song I have a debate with myself about what’s appropriate to write a song about – part of me thinks there should be no rules about this, that I should be free to say whatever feels most urgent inside me when I pick up the guitar, and another part says, whoa!, you can’t say that, people will think you’re nuts. People tell me I should keep it light and positive, and that way I’ll win more people over to my music – and that generally just annoys me and makes me more determined to sing about the darker things that might be deemed socially unacceptable by some. I suppose for me, bringing the things we’re afraid of into the light somehow makes them less scary – and that’s a big part of why I write songs, to express the stuff that’s hidden, so that it becomes less confusing, and I can only hope that it might help others too. Otherwise, don’t listen to the words too hard, it’s a happy tune.
I picture myself as a fountain of good
I’d colour in the picture if I only could
But the colours in my pencil box are poisoned by the pigments of the hating
Nothing makes me happier than dishing out love
and all I ever wanted was to feel that buzz
but what am I supposed to do when most of me is caught up in the hating?
Why am I hating the rain?
Why am I hating the sun?
Why am I berating everyone who comes along to try to free me of the hating?
Why’m I allergic to love?
With so much bile in my blood?
Why do I tumble in the feeling that I’m falling in the moment of relating?
I wake up in the morning looking for the light
But the paper in the kitchen gets me all uptight
And soon I’m in a fight to keep alive the light of love above the hating
Curse those chicken-eyed painted clowns
Filling up the sky with their empty sounds
Waiting on the edges of my head to take me closer to the hating
Slowly I’m learning to let myself be
A mixture of the loving and the hating in me
And the thing that I am learning is how to love in spite of all the hating
Don’t hate yourself for hating it’s human thing
But even as you hate there’s something else you can bring
You’ve got to find a way to let the love exist beside the hating